Things That People Say That Mean Well but Are Absolutely the Worst! When someone tells me to smile, I want to slap them! It's condescending and inconsiderate brushing aside whatever (maybe serious) issue making me not smile. Plus, why should someone smile just for YOU? Relax! Another condescending phrase. Don't cry. Yes, cry if you need to He or she is in a better place--but I'm not! People say a lot of well-meaning things when people are grieving...but sometimes a hug or an I'm sorry is the best.