Stop Forcing Your Kids To Say These Two Words

That's at least according to Laura Markham, child psychologist.

Remember when you were little and your brother hit you and your mother told him to tell you, “I’m sorry?”

In the book, Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How To Stop The Fighting and Raise Friends For Life, child psychologist Laura Markham says saying “I’m sorry” can cause more harm than good.

Making kids apologize before they're ready can make them madder and just like adults, it doesn’t fix the relationship. Things you can do instead, help your children communicate and help them express their needs and to listen to each other.

Give time for your child to cool off and help them to fix the situation on their own, suggest that they do something nice but let them make the decision on how to make things better. Finally, lead by example and let your child see how you resolve conflicts.

Do you agree with this method? How do help your kids resolve fights?

Here's my personal opinion...I agree with the concept of letting the kids find solutions and expressing their feelings, but an apology, if they've hurt the other, should be the part of the final resolution. As an adult, when I know people who can't ever acknowledge their wrong and can't every say they're sorry, I find that to be a red-flag issue. When someone offers a heartfelt apology, that's a beautiful thing.

But here are some times apologies aren't necessary: Don't teach your children that they ever have to apologize for who they are or where they come from. Don't make apology a gender thing. For example, don't raise your girls to be apologetic, but not your boys.