MJ Morning Show

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Are you climbing the walls because you can't sleep?

Are you literally climbing the walls (or the headboard) because you can’t get a good night of sleep?

Oh, wow. I feel your pain. I’ve had those moments in my life where I would’ve given anything for a solid eight hours of zzz’s. I discovered this trick from a story online. It might not work for everyone, but it did work for me.

I need to set up the scenario, first, so you can understand how desperate I was for some good shut-eye. Go back to February of 2019. (It was a different world then, right?) I had not enjoyed ONE night of uninterrupted sleep for a good SEVEN months. I had just given birth in December. About midway through pregnancy, you start the middle of the night peeing thing. And it just gets worse and worse up until delivery. Then the newborn arrives, and it’s bye-bye sleep for good. Then just when I thought, “Okay, I’m making some headway. My daughter has one middle of the night feeding so that is bearable,” next thing you know…I’m back to work and the alarm goes off at an ungodly hour.

I’d get the girls down, sleep for about three hours, wake up for the midnight feeding, finish around 1 A.M., get back in bed, and stare at the ceiling for the next 3 hours until my alarm would go off. I COULD NOT FALL ASLEEP. And for those who’ve experienced insomnia, it’s lonely, scary and exhausting. Even though I was so tired, my mind would not be still. “Whoops. I didn’t read and research all the ingredients on my face cream. Could it have an ingredient that’s bad for breast-feeding?” “Did I load my show into the system correctly at work?” “Did I pay for my daughter’s recital costume?” And once you’ve gone through the infinite checklist of your spheres of responsibility, then you worry about all things you have no control over. Some crazy virus that’s infecting people in the Northwest. Corona-something? The National Debt…etc. And then you dig into maybe not as globally consequential problems but things to ponder, nonetheless. Like “how much money have I passed on not using my CVS receipt cash back offers?” And the background sound for all of this ruminating was the hum of my breast pump. Not because I left it on, but because that irritatingly hypnotic noise was stuck in my head all the time.

I started to go crazy. (And I looked crazy. You can confirm this with my co-workers. They don’t call it beauty sleep for nothing.) I texted my doctor about my problem: Doc, I can’t sleep. Can I take melatonin and pump and dump?

The short answer was “No.”

Then some crazy thing popped into my kooky, sleep-deprived brain. “Roxanne, didn’t you do a story about how sleeping with your partner’s shirt (used, stinky shirt) is better than or on par with taking a melatonin?”

A team of researchers in the U.K. found that their subjects who were exposed to their partner’s “scent” while they slept enjoyed better sleep quality. So I slept with one of Doug’s workout shirts. I’m not kidding. And I had the deepest sleep! (Maybe the fumes knocked me out…no! Just kidding. He’s a good-smelling guy.)

In any case, if you’re struggling like I was, it might be worth a try. Good luck!

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