MJ’s early Moron in the News story is about two women who fought with meat sticks inside of a Walmart. A hummer in Citrus County caught on fire during the panic buying craze on Wednesday, which proves that transporting tons of gas at once isn’t that safe. Speaking of the Colonial Pipeline, MJ talks about how much the company forked out to the hackers to get their information back.

Fester has a new racket, and he’s trying to get the rest of the gang involved. MJ and the gang talk with callers to see how they feel about his freeloading. Fester also reveals how he sneaks into a luxury hotel pools, without booking a room. How long does it take for your kids to drive you crazy in car rides? MJ, Fester, Froggy, and Roxanne talk about the average time.

MJ plays two Crotchety Old Man calls about Milton Fludgecow’s Y2K and gas station problem. A vaccinated celebrity has come down with COVID-19. Do you care about the Friend’s reunion? It drops on HBO Max later this month.