It’s a rainy Friday here on the MJ Morning Show. And when it rains, it means more car trouble for Fester. Apparently his taillight gets filled with water when it rains too much. Today’s Morons in the News features a woman who shoots herself in the bathroom of a Bob Evans, and lives. Did the gunshot sound anything like the cartoon ricochet sound effect? MJ talks about a story when he was younger about how he almost set his house on fire twice. Does he also count as today’s Morons in the News?

MJ says Michelle had four bowls of Count Chocula cereal for dinner last night. MJ asks her about Gwyneth Paltrow and her use of coconut oil. According to listeners, this is quite a popular home remedy. Fester gets a mystery package in the mail, and the contents inside might be worth more than his 2004 Lincoln Town Car. Nobody’s credit card bill can be as bad as this woman on RHOBH… Can it? MJ finds a syringe underneath the desk at Q105, and he calls Program Director Ted to report it. Does he know about this? The CEO of Butterball says to expect some shortages with smaller turkeys. MJ has the perfect Crotchety Old Man call for this story. 

How many endorsements does Shaq actually have? A listener sent MJ an e-mail about a new Shaq product he found in Walmart. There’s an update on the man who exposed a rat infestation at a Popeye’s. A nagging wife led to a giant prize from the Missouri Lottery. Dwayne Johnson is making a pledge about the use of guns in his future movies.