MJ had a weird dream last night. MJ gives Roxanne the details for her to interpret. Does this dream have a deeper meaning than what happened? A statue of Humpty Dumpty sitting on the toilet was stolen and returned in Wisconsin. The name of the statue is the best part of the story. Fester is still hesitant to buy an axolotl for his daughter. What’s holding him back?

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were victorious is last night’s game against the New England Patriots. MJ plays the audio clip of the “doink” which caused a loss for the Pats. A man thinks he saw Brian Laundrie in the Tennessee-North Carolina border. Should the FBI follow his lead? Speaking of borders, a couple got married on the U.S.-Canada border so their family could attend.

Candy corn: love it or hate it? Research says that people side with one or the other. A local moron was arrested for a grits attack on her boyfriend. David Lee Roth announced his retirement. MJ plays the isolated vocal tracks of “Running with the Devil.”