MJ Morning Show

MJ Morning Show

MJ Morning Show

A partial lunar eclipse by Peter Summers/Getty Images)

How would our lovely state of Florida fare if there was an alien invasion? What would our chances of survival be like?

Analysts at NJCasino.com put out a study on alien invasion survivability by state.

I haven’t spent much time in Virginia, but I might want to bring my family there in case of an invasion. According to the study, because Virginia has a large military when compared with the number of people who live there, it makes it a safe place to be when E.T. and friends come to take over.

The lowest survivability score was awarded to Nevada. Aliens are coming for you, Nevadians. You and your casinos and luxurious hotels and deserts.

Speaking of deserts, it seems that residents in the Western part of the U.S.A. are more at risk during theoretical alien invasions. So many people have “seen” UFO’s in Nevada. That supports the argument that they’re already out there. But wouldn’t it also indicate that aliens are well aware of Nevada, and they haven’t descended upon the state yet, so maybe they’ve seen enough.

Apparently, New York will be able to hold off aliens (coming in at number 4) because of their high number or law enforcement per capita combined with the number of foods and beverages available in the Big Apple and beyond.

The website that put this very official study together evaluated: number of residents, number of UFO sightings, geography and topography of the state, number of law enforcement members, size of military.

Now let’s put all of this in the proper context. Nevada was deemed the worst state for alien-invasion survivability and the study was put out by a group promoting New Jersey casinos. Correct? And New Jersey is a top 13 survivable state, but Nevada is the least survivable? Could this be a “come gamble in Atlantic City over Vegas” kind of study?

For more on this story, click here.

Here’s the list of the 13 states most likely to survive an alien invasion.

  • 1. Virginia

    The large military will, in theory, protect the state.

  • 2. Georgia

    This is a head scratcher because aren’t there a lot of alien sightings in Roswell, Georgia?

  • 3. Massachusetts

    Aliens don’t like Boston accents so they won’t be invading there any time soon. And they also hate the Red Sox.

  • 4. New York

    Lots of LEO and food and beverage producers so the state can withstand alien invasions easily.

  • 5. Louisiana

    Little known fact: aliens are allergic to shellfish (crawfish, shrimp creole, etc.)

  • 6. Illinois

    Aliens usually carry guns. Strict gun laws in Chicago and the state, in general. Aliens won’t invade there.

  • 7. Maryland

    See the shellfish allergy problem above. Crabcakes send aliens into anaphylactic shock.

  • 8. Missouri

    What else is there to see or do Missouri aside from the Golden Gate Bridge…err um, I mean the Golden Arches? The Arch?

  • 9. Alabama

    A well-known fact…aliens always root against Crimson Tide. They hear “Roll Tide,” and they’re like get me the bleep outta here, back to my Mother Ship.

  • 10. Wisconsin

    Aliens are also lactose-intolerant. While they love cheese, it’s hard on their alien bellies.

  • 11. Kentucky

    Aliens hate hats. They like to show off their alien heads, so they are very anti-Kentucky Derby with all the hats. They also hate…and I mean HATE mint juleps. Who can blame them? Kentucky is safe.

  • 12. New Jersey

    Aliens hate the show Jersey Shore…and reality TV in general.

  • 13. Florida

    Aliens are terrified of ALLIGATORS! Who knew?!

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