Jessica Simpson, MTV VJ’s Damian Fahey and Vanessa Minnillo appear on stage during MTV’s Total Request Live at the MTV Times Square Studios November 29, 2004 in New York City.
(Photo by Peter Kramer/Getty Images)About 20 years ago, the pop music world was still dominated by the TRL playlist. The Backstreet Boys and NSync battled for that coveted #1 spot on MTV every weekday afternoon. But sometimes they were bumped out of that spot by two sisters who had solo hits.
Rolling Stone a few years ago isolated 20 songs they deemed so terrible that they earned a spot on their worst ever list. Among them were Band Aid's "Do They Know Its's Christmas." Say what you will. You have to give the artists an A for effort. They were trying to do some good. But even Bob Geldof calls it one of the worst songs in history... and it's his song.
In the runner up spot for worst Christmas song ever, Maroon 5 attempts to outdo John Lennon. Their cover of "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" is one that I wasn't even familiar with. Now I know why. I guess it could have been worse. Yoko could've covered it.
The absolute worst of the worst though goes to those sisters I mentioned. One will forever be remembered more for her classic curiosity of why tuna was called the Chicken of the Sea. The other... well, she had a famous sister and had a couple forgettable hits herself.
We're talking of course of Jessica Simpson and Ashlee Simpson. This performance of "Little Drummer Boy" earned Rolling Stone's spot for worst of the worst. And now that I've heard it (and wish I hadn't), I get it.
The debate around whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie has been around for years. A simple Google search will yield an obscene amount of articles from a variety of outlets that argue whether it is or isn't a Christmas movie.
Seriously, this debate has been addressed by truly the strangest group of publications you can possibly imagine. They include Yahoo! Entertainment, Parade, Men's Health, The Pioneer Woman (yes, really), The Federalist (not kidding), and -- perhaps most surprising of them all -- Catholic.com.
The debate reached such an intensity that Bruce Willis waded into it. During the 2018 Comedy Central special Roast of Bruce Willis, John McClane, himself, addressed the debate.
"People ask me why I did this roast," began Willis. "Was it because one of the last guys who did it became president? Hell no. Why would I want to be president when I can just keep being Bruce f---in' Willis?"
He continued, "I did this roast for one reason and for one reason only, to settle something once and for all. Now, please, listen very carefully: 'Die Hard' is not a Christmas movie! It's a ---damn Bruce Willis movie. So, yippee ki-yay to all of you motherf---ers."
With that in mind, it’s about time we focus a similar energy on Christmas music.
At this point in the holiday season, there is a good chance you have heard a lot of the same Christmas songs over and over again. (We're looking at you, Mariah Carey!) We have nothing against some of the classics, but variety never hurt anyone.
There are only a handful of days left until Christmas. In the spirit of Die Hard now being widely considered a Christmas movie -- despite the colorful comments of Willis -- consider these five classic rock songs as Christmas songs. Enjoy! (And you're welcome!)
"Jesus Is Just Alright"
I don’t care if it’s The Byrds cover, I don’t care if it’s The Doobie Brothers cover, “Jesus Is Just Alright” is totally a Christmas song! Its positive message is PERFECT for the holidays!
"Psalm" - Roxy Music
It's definitely a left-field choice, but this list was meant to be a little weird. Let's put it this way: Think of “Psalm” as the cool, artsy cousin to “Jesus Is The Reason For The Season.” Plus, it truly isn't the holidays without that cool, artsy cousin bringing the strange to your family gathering.
"Jesus" - The Velvet Underground
Honestly, the same explanation for "Psalm" can be applied to this track from The Velvet Underground. Also, "Jesus" is almost more prayer than song, and its words could actually help those struggling during the holidays.
"Mistress For Christmas" - AC/DC
Okay...this one might already fall under the classification of a Christmas song, but it doesn’t get nearly enough airplay or attention. At this point, “Mistress For Christmas” should be a holiday standard that everyone knows and loves, but sure, let’s just sing “Jingle Bells” again for the millionth time!
"Jesus Just Left Chicago" - ZZ Top
In this stellar ZZ Top track, Jesus is traveling from city to city spreading the magic of the blues, or at least we assume. Hmmm...traveling from city to city and spreading magic? If that’s not the perfect premise for a Christmas song, we don’t know what is!
